Loving someone when everything is fine and dandy is easy. It’s when someone starts rocking the boat that things become interesting.
I believe, the true test of love is loving another’s “pain” or “dark” side through those difficult and painful experiences.
So this summer I’m offering up some SPF (Soothing Pain Formula) for any emotional burn that may come about so that you can fully experience a summer of lovin’ or as I like to say BIG love.
Big love is selfless love when you put your needs and defenses aside and unplug from the emotional pull so that you can stand taller and stronger and disarm another’s pain?
Are you able to love another person when they’re unable to love themselves… to love “all” of them; the good, the bad and the ugly?
Below, I’ve highlighted one of the single best teachings along with the benefits of exercising BIG love for your SPF this summer.
My wish for you this summer is to practice and experience BIG love.
Should you encounter a partner, a client, a friend or colleague, in pain, will you remember my words and choose to practice BIG love?
Will you choose to refrain from judging, from blaming, from taking anything personally, discover the teaching and simply love that person up?
Will you join me in this “love challenge” this summer?
This exercise is the best warm up for loving yourself enough through difficult times. An important investment with generative return.
Every interaction, every conversation with another (person, place or thing) is an opportunity to:
-learn about ourselves
-resolve inner blocks
-save ourselves from unnecessary pain, suffering, time and money
-access the answers we seek
-joyfully advance our lives.
If you’re experiencing conflict with another, rather than continuing the fight, ask yourself these two questions as they will surely provide the answers you seek for yourself.
What is this person trying to teach me about myself, my current situation or frustration?
What does this person really want or need from me by displaying this behavior?
Here’s an example to get you started. Your sister-in-law irritates you. She has a habit of incessantly talking about herself which is your point of irritation or charge as I like to say.
The takeaway teachings:
1. Step back and think about your current problem or frustration. Next, ask the first question:
What is the annoying habit that this person is displaying actually trying to teach me about myself, my current situation or frustration? (hint, you may need to say this a few times if you’ve never tried it before)
Perhaps you’re trying to increase your business yet nothing seems to be working. When you step back, vs. plug in, you’re able to watch and observe her behavior with this question in mind, rather than focusing on the irritation point. Psst, this is the game changer.
Slowly the answer begins to crystalize. You realize in watching her that your focus in growing your business has been more about what YOU should call your new product, what YOU should charge, what YOU will gain when it goes big, with little concern for the clients you serve.
Suddenly, BAM! The light bulb goes off, LOL.
You’ve been frustrated in growing your business because YOU too have been inadvertently making it be all about YOU.
You did it. By leveraging your interaction, you got instant clarity, and even released the charge with your sister-in-law.
You feel so much better and you silently thank her for being your teacher. You relate to her very differently. In fact, you appreciate her…another benefit! Nice job!
2. You can step up vs. plug in and ask the second question, what does this person really want or need from me by displaying this behavior?
And you wait for it, wait for it and then you see…
Beneath her need to focus on herself, is a cry for attention. Her behavior is actually her way of asking for love because, for whatever reason, in our society, we can’t ask for love outright.
Instead we act out in ways that get attention which provides a temporary fulfillment yet not always in a flattering or productive manner.
When you focus on how you can help another rather than how you’re irritated, you access BIG love. In that moment, you’re allowing yourself to see the truth, to go behind the curtain and see her for who she really is.
You too become moved in that moment. You decide to give her your full attention. You remind her how awesome she is and you both smile. You silently thank her for being your teacher or perhaps you even decide to verbalize it, deepening the connection.
In the end, our inner struggles become externalized in the people, places and things around us. In the end, we all need each other to succeed. And it starts by putting down our emotional armor and allowing ourselves to connect.
In that connection, we find BIG love. We find business and personal opportunities which lead to fortunes beyond our wildest dreams.
The benefits are endless.
I hope you’ll join me in applying the SPF above and practe BIG love this summer, for yourself and for all with whom you come in contact.